/// 9:52 PM
This post is for me to vent out my feelings.
please kindly treat this as a place to keep my journal and refrain from reading if u dun want to sian diao.
i think i am someone who cares about what everyone thinks about me,
too ego.
i feel a great deal of sianness and a tinge of anger when i am unappreciated.
Especially when people compares your effort with others, which i know how much i had put in, but really there is no end to such comparison and I know there is no need for someone to boast of his achievements ( bloody stupid and retarded) . I believe strongly in letting your actions shows. But sometimes too much behind stage action/work, will never bring you any recognitions and understandings. and people demand more when u are already trapped in some crap hole, or sarcastically question what have u done. Now things are even taken away from me just because the majority > minority and the same things are to be kept for those lesser beings ( i would say).
I hate the fact that things are now more highly regarded for show rather than for quality.
I remembered i posted something back some time, about being more confident in demonstrating my capability or wad shoot, but jiang zhen de, I dislike boastful people, and asking myself to be one is gradually pushing the dislike to myself.
give me the power to turn everyone into understanding and kind people.
lame
fml.